pace of grace

so, am i the only one who’s a bit freaked out that it’s november? nevermind the whole election thing. in new orleans we don’t have the same seasonal markers to define the passage of time. today i wore a tank top. no jacket, just a scarf. but still, it’s november. i’ve talked about national novel writing month and it makes me want to finish something, to rush through this process. the words and music festival is this month. it has been two years since i won the novel-in-progress award. and my novel is STILL in process. but even with this pressure, this measuring myself by someone else’s stick, i am reminded to trust my process. the book is smarter than i am, and it is never wrong. i, on the other hand, am often wrong. yesterday was one of those days where showing up revealed answers i didn’t know that i was seeking. at this moment, my novel will not tolerate haste. what is required now is a rigorous attention to detail. showing up to the page and being present each moment. to listen not to my ego, but to the work. to stand in it. to find and proceed in a pace of grace.

fess up friday

the self-care edition…

so, i haven’t done a very good job of logging my time for the past few weeks. i made it to the writing table several times this week, but the progress is more of a getting reacquainted with the work. today i had been at the writing table for a couple of hours and started to feel quite unwell. it came over me all of a sudden and i couldn’t concentrate. i had to leave. on my way home i realized that it was now past three o’clock and all i’d consumed today was a starbucks white chocolate mocha, a mini vanilla scone (which was delicious) and an iced tea! not one drop of water. and no food! no wonder my body shut down. although i’m not generally a napper, i came home and had some soup and went to bed. i guess that’s exactly what my body needed. and my novel probably needed it, too.

home…

*whew* i have been caught up in a vortex. whirlwind events in rapid succession. evacuation. bridal shower. home for a week. gone again to memphis for a wedding. back again. my life has not been my own. i’ve been standing up and standing in, doing what is necessary. being a love warrior. but no time for writing. although i am back in my proper zipcode, i’m still not quite at home in my own life yet. i guess i should cut myself some slack since i’ve only been home a single day. autumn has arrived and i am restless, unsettled, but trying to find center.